Picture of the Day

We’re afraid to anounce that this is human evolution at it’s last stage: comparisons to animals in order to learn from them…

Sad…

Picture of the day: objects turn evil

Due to mysterious electromagnetic activity from 5.05 am to 5.06 am on the 17th of May random objects seemed to turn evil. An oblivious security guard named Blake made the following snapshot with his mobile phone while on duty.

‘Suddenly the camera turned to me and in a very creepy way it appeared to be threatening me’, a nervous Blake tells on of our reporters. ‘I swear on my mother’s grave, it was going to hurt me’, a pale faced and wide eyed Blake continues. Blake also tells us that during this all, the pen in his left chest pocket started to leak leaving a stain on his white blouse. ‘It was my favorite blouse’, Blake says in remorse.

Judge for yourself:

Does this scare you?

First-Person Shooter based on the life of Jesus Christ

Ubisoft is releasing a controverial videogame based on the life of Jesus this Christmas. The game will go by the name ‘And he saw it was Good..’. It wil include the latest graphics and will be released for PC as well as for Xbox.

The game begins at the birth of Jesus, when the three wise men bestow him, Mary and Jozef with gifts. One of the gifts is an Uzi which is used through out the game to convert non believers. During the game, Jesus gets different missions from God. At completion of a mission, Jesus gets a new power. Miracles and divine intervention cost a lot of energy which can be restored by praying. Unfortunately there is not a lot of time to pray because Jesus has a lot of Jews to slaughter. The game is considered to be very gruesome and brutal, and nothing like the more popular version of the peace loving Jesus. An example: at one point Jesus rides a dinosaur while his mission is to trample as many non believers as possible, if he succeeds in getting them all the dinosaur feasts on their flesh and the gift of walking on water is given to Jesus.

The game has gotten a lot of criticism from the Christian scene, the great number of slaughtered Jews through out the game also caused opposition from the Jews. The game is not meant for the faint hearted and has received an X rating, still Ubisoft is expecting it to be a huge hit. A review is following soon!

A preview

Proof of life on Mars!!

Shocking proof of life!

Osama bin Laden tried to hack Google

You may have noticed that in the morning of may 14th Google crashed. The all powerful Google, master of the world, keeper of all the holy Internets went down. A shock went through the world, could Google be fallible? Why does that feel like blasphemy? And better yet, could Google be hacked? Could this be a massive hack attack, could this be a terrorist hack attack? In a digital world, hacking Google is hacking the Internet and that equals world domination. Smart plan!

Fingers are pointing in the terrorist direction more and more since one of the employees of the stripclub Pentagon in Virginia found a mysterious videotape in the mail.  He would like to stay anonymous so we will refer to him as ‘Bob’. The tape features a bearded man with an uncanny resemblance to bin Laden. The man is definitely speaking an Arabic language and if one listens closer the words ‘Google’ and ‘Internet’ can be distinguished. Even though Bob’s original plan was to hand the tape to the government, he figured that selling it to to us would be more profitable. We will not disclose the amount of money we gave him, but let’s just say that Bob is set for life. Unfortunatly we don’t speak Arabic, so until I speak to my Marrocan friend Bilal, we cannot give you the translation. An update is following soon!

No terrorists, just duckies!

R.I.P

Svevolod just died in the middle of a presentation which could be described as an Epic Fail. Rest in Peace my brother. I would recommend ‘Dead or Alive’ to be the song played while your coffin slowly gets covered with fresh earth and flowers.

E.T. says hi, again

It might have come to your attention that during the last couple of weeks several cases of extra terrestrial intervention were reported. If it did not, let us be the one to inform you about these fascinating seeings.

On may 5th, a Russian farmer was lucky to spot an extraordinary luminous UFO, flying over his acres. And, thank God, he was able to get the extra terrestrial visitors on camera. Remarkably, he was not the only one who spotted these visitors. On that same day, a British fellow farmer also caught our out of space friends on camera. Furthermore there were twelve other reports of people from all over the world claiming they saw the exact same UFO on the exact same day.

A collective spotting of UFO’s like the one reported above has never occured before. The UFO, spotted by both men seemed to be quite similar to the UFO spotted in the city of Dalnegorsk on the night of January 20, 1986, where a red ball of fire cruised through the city towards Mount Izvestkovaya. Investigators found a burned landing zone on top of the mountain and a “black film” covering much of the mountaintop. An other remarkable note to make is that practically every copy of Steven Spielbergs ‘Close Encounters of the third kind’ has gone missing ever since the reports were made.

Whoever these visitors are, it seems like they’re here to claim their part of the credits mr. Spielberg has earned by being the brain behind this massively populair blockbuster. No wonder they left him a piece of “black film”. We suggest that mr. Spielberg has some serious apologizing to do before a ginormous ball or red fire burns down his house and family.

Picture of the Day

Apes from outer space?

Copyright: Copycat, Flickr, Nasa

Here is the long life proof that apes do get from outer space. And now we have visual confirmation from where. Here, at the Horsehead Nebula, just outside our galaxy at aproximitly 9.994.858.453.495 kilometres. Even less in miles! We urge president Obama and Castro to make first contact with these apes and settle this before they have the technology to invade us! We are getting our tin helmets out of the closet already…

Pope prefers Star Trek over Angels & Demons

From our source at the Vatican:
last night’s screening held at the Vatican cinema included two films: Star Trek and Angels & Demons.

Rumour has it that none other than the pope himself came out jubilating the new Star Trek film and preferring it over the Dan Brown story based movie.

Our source:  “the Pope ordered immediately to replace all holy costumes with Starfleet costumes. That would appeal internationaly much more…”

Whether the Pope will attend Cannes this year is not clear yet.

The end of logic?

If it is true that equal 1, does this mean the end of reason, the end of logic and possibly the end of a world in which we can trust on our, always considered as trustworthy, ratio? The Pear found proof for this worrisome foresight. Does this also mean Darwinism has to make place for Creationism?  Let’s pray for a rational intervention instead.

a = b

a^2 = ab

a^2 – b^=ab – b^2

(a – b)(a + b)=b(a – b)

a + b = b

b + b = b

2b = b

2 = 1